Tribute to a Great Dog

Jake the Explorer Jake decided to go exploring. That was a surprise since he doesn’t like to get too far away from Mommy. Jake has no intention of doing anything that resembles work or requires any great effort. Five minutes of any activity results in a half hour nap. Jake is a dog. Jake wakes Mommy up in the morning by licking her face. That’s not really a sign of affection as much as a sign he needs to go out. Enough lounging around on the bed. Time to go out. Now! After going out he then comes in and lounges on the couch, all worn out and needing a rest. Hardly keep his eyes open unless Mommy thinks she’s going back to sleep. Then, Jake is awake and ready to play. Jake is always ready to play at two o’clock in the morning. When he’s ready, you’re ready. That’s his opinion at least. Since he just ignores any command he doesn’t agree with you’d better be ready. He’s discovered that’s a good way to get a snack. He needs a smack but that’s not right so he doesn’t get one. He’s completely innocent looking when he does it but he knows exactly what he’s doing. When he goes out he always checks for toads first. If he doesn’t find one he then goes out into the yard and pees. If he does find one and it jumps he pees right then and there. He jumps three feet in the air as if he’s scared of the toad. That’s dumb. On the other hand, Jake doesn’t have any warts either. After playing with the toad he looks to see if Mommy planted any new flowers. Then he digs them up. If he put one between his teeth and presented it to her that would be one thing. Jake doesn’t have that kind of class. No, he roots around until he gets the roots all around the patio. Then he pees and comes in to rest up. In his first exploration he escaped without anyone knowing he was gone until he slammed against the door. When we opened it he ran in and jumped up on the couch, looked out the window, and sighed in relief. Cheese, the neighborhood cat, had chased him off. Cheese is a nice cat towards humans but hates dogs. Cheese swells up to three times his normal size around a dog. All the dogs in the neighborhood are afraid of Cheese although he’s never been known to kill one. Leastways, no body has ever been found. No body, no crime. Jake’s next escape got Mommy really mad. She called him and he suddenly went deaf. He also went blind. Mommy had to get the van and go after him. He ignored Mommy but came right to the van, all innocent and loving. He wagged his tail, licked her face and got away with escaping. Jake, unlike most dogs, refuses to drink from a toilet. Good for him. That way when we take his water off him at night it helps him to sleep all night. No, it doesn’t. He won’t drink from a toilet but he will drink from our fountain on the patio. It’s rough being outsmarted by a dog. Jake is part Jack Russell and part beagle. The bad parts. He’s the very definition of scamp. If you ignore him long enough at night when he wants to play he takes his chew bone and bounces it off the wall. If that doesn’t get you up he bounces himself off the wall. If that gets ignored he jumps on the bed, jumps on your stomach, and grabs your hand with his teeth. He thinks of it as playing. I think of it as giving blood. His latest exploration had me right behind him, quickly and close. As it turns out not quickly or closely enough. Jake decided to sniff an ant hill. Our ants are very hardy since the weather won’t kill them off. Our particular ants are fire ants too. Nasty little rascals. In fact, ours are sort of the Hell’s Angels of fire ants. They don’t just nip you, they get their friends and take a toe or two. Jake stuck his nose right into the mound. Then he went howling back to the door. He ran inside and jumped up on the couch. Now, in order to get him to go out, we have to throw him out.