Freddy Goes Off

Freddie has always been a little spacey, sometimes it was for a day, sometimes it was for week. He’d zone out. He did it to drive his father closer to zoning out. Mom didn’t notice She lived close to the zone herself. She was the love her husband's life but she went off to someplace at times. He never knew when it would happen. When she did, he didn't try to bring her back. She always came back sweet as molasses.

John went in to the cellar to get some cheap wine for his dinner party. John was the best attorney in town. He had a couple of partners and no one would go anyplace else for an attorney if they needed real help. John didn’t take on just anybody. He lived well but, as his wife said, on the cheap.

When he got into the cellar he saw a light on the other side. Damn it, that was costing him money. He liked having money; he hated spending it. How hard is it to turn a light off? He went over and shut the light off. He then heard,“Hey.”

This came from John’s son Freddie. What was he doing here? The school wasn’t on break. John said, “Freddie, what are you doing here instead of being at school?”

“Oh, I quit school.”

“You what? You quit school? I paid good money for your education. You quit?” John suddenly wanted to take a piss, maybe on Freddie. He had plans for Freddie and this wasn’t one of them. Freddie had always done well in school, so why did he quit? Then, he realized he should ask Freddie instead of wondering about it.

“Why did you quit school?”

“I wanted to write my autobiography and stuff and stuff like that.”

John wasn’t sure what to say to that.“You’re what? You’re twenty years old, for Christ sake. You haven’t done anything or been anywhere You don’t have more than a ten- page biography."

“I’m going to go with a Stream of Consciousness, you know? ‘the perception of what passes in a man’s own mind.’” I’m not going to write my life as it was. I’m going to write the flow of my thoughts and sense impressions in an disjointed form or else as I think is should be. I’m going to let it all flow.” Freddie knew his Dad was going to question him. He had spent a lot of time coming up with this answer.

“And your are going to make a living doing that?”John said

“It doesn’t matter. What will be will be. Until you and mom die I’ll stay right here. It’s warm and when I start smelling bad, I’ll clean up here. When I get hungry. I’ll find food somewhere. I figure you’ll keep the basement warm enough. You won’t know I’m here.”

“I don’t want to know you’re here.”

John decided Freddie’s wacko friends did this. He was going to have to do something about that, something between a psychiatrist or outright murder, whichever is cheaper. He figured he could beat a murder charge. He was an expert attorney. Most of the town went to him when they needed an attorney. They weren’t going to find him guilty. A psychiatrist would be better except for the chance he or she would make Freddie worse. If he or she made it worse, he’d have to kill him or her.

Freddie wrote his book and self-published it on Amazon. He sold one copy. His Mom bought it but couldn’t make heads or tails of it. She asked John to read and explain it to her. John read three pages and tossed in the garbage. He told his wife he lost it. She said to order another one. He didn’t and she forgot about it.

John was a conceded, dishonest, bigoted ass. Freddie’s Mom was as nice as nice gets. She was a bubble-head but in a nice way. People wondered why she would marry some one like John. He wondered himself about that. He loved her dearly, though.

Freddie was out and about in a not so good neighborhood. He glanced down an alley and saw people eating out of a dumpster. He thought they must fight with the rats for that food. He didn’t know if the people ate rats but he knew rats would eat people.

He was approached by some guys with many tattoos. The one said, “I need money. You’re going to give it to me.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“Well then, give me what you bought with it. You sure didn’t come to this area as a tourist. Hell, I wouldn’t come without my boys.”

“I didn’t buy anything. I’m just broke.”

“You’re going to be broken if you don't hand your money or drugs over. Hope you have good insurance or a casket, depending on how we feel later.” He then told the gang to turn him upside down and shake him They could have just frisked him this would be more entertaining. They shook him for a while. Nothing, not even a penny. He don’t look like he’s being using.

Another spoke up and made everyone nervous. Even Freddie became nervous, on top of his fear.“Maybe he’s a narc. He’ could be checking on us. Who’d believe this guy was a narc?” The leader thought about that. “Maybe. Still, dead men don’t talk.”

“Oh, to Hell with it. Listen, you think you be comin’ down here again you best have some money. Some people ain’t as peaceful as us.”

Freddie decided to go to a better neighborhood. There they cheat you but they don’t hurt you. They do hurt your wallet though. It’s why his father said,“Cheat rich people a little bit. Their rich but probably stupid. Most of the time they don’t anyone to think they were fleeced. You ought to see what I charge for with my fees.”Freddie didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go crawling home like some wet dog. He dare not live on the streets. He had no doubt the tattoo guys would hurt him. Where to go now? School? They didn’t like him either.

The street people didn’t seem to like him either.They they threw garbage at him. The way they lived it could have the plauge on it

If someone is living in your basement, hope it isn't you son.

If your son is disapponihg, the father should blame the mother. She's going to blame the father.

Thinking you made a mistake sending your son to college. you did.

If you want to go into a bad neighberhood, don't.

If a street gang asks for your money, don't offer an IOU.

If you think your friend is a whack job, look in the mirror before saying anything